Kale Chips

So who likes chips? I guess a better question would be "who doesn't like chips?". But these are no ordinary potato, tortilla, or even those delicious guacamole-flavored chips. These are veggie chips that are actually MADE FROM VEGGIES!
If you're not familiar with Kale, it's like curly spinach that's a little more bitter when it's raw. It's on the "superfood" list (?) so that means it's good for you, right? The baking process and spices take the bitterness and toughness away, leaving you with perfectly crispy little green chippers. These are really easy and fast to make, and I guarantee they'll be gone in a flash!


You will need:
-1 bunch Kale
-2 Tbsp. Olive oil
-2 Tbsp. Lemon or Lime juice
-1/2 tsp. Cumin
-1/2 tsp. Coriander
-1/2 tsp. Salt

Preheat oven to 250.
Rinse the Kale and let dry completely. Tear the leaves from the thick center stem to make "chip-size" pieces.
Mix all the remaining ingredients except the lemon juice in a large bowl.
Add the Kale to the bowl and mix with your hands until all the leaves are completely coated. Rubbing individual leaves together helps with this.
Place the Kale on a large baking sheet. Make sure every leaf is flat against the sheet; they won't get crispy if they're piled on top of each other. You may need to use 2 baking sheets.


Bake for 20-25 minutes, depending on crispiness. Turn the leaves over, sprinkle the lemon juice on top and bake for another 10 minutes.

Ohh...gee, Billy, these Kale Chips are so tasty, I just can't stop eating them! mmmm...
Me either! mmmmmmmmm........mmmmmmmmmmad spatula!

Sweet & Spicy Yucca

At first I wanted to call this "Yucca Surprise", but then thought it sounded too much like mystery meat they would serve in a grade school cafeteria, So I decided on "Sweet and Spicy". Despite the spicy part, this is really more of a dessert because it's still so darn sweet. I've eaten Yucca at Salvadoran restaurants and was disappointed with its' blandness. This was my first time cooking it myself, and I was determined to grab blandness by the neck and throw it against the nearest brick wall with my spicy super-strength.

If you don't have maple yogurt (which you should because it's amazing), just use plain yogurt and some maple syrup!

1 Yucca root, peeled and cubed
1 Cup Maple Yogurt
1/2 Cup Apple sauce
2 tsp. ground Coriander seed
1 tsp. Cinammon
1 1/2 Tbsp. Sriracha sauce or any hot chili sauce
1 tsp. salt



Boil the Yucca for about 20 minutes until soft (Just pretend you're cooking potatoes) and drain.
In a deep frying pan, heat the yogurt and spices. Add the drained Yucca and stir until coated.

Turn down the heat and let it cook for about 15 minutes.
Remove from heat and stir in the apple sauce. I guess I could say you're done.

Oh yeah, and Yucca roots make excellent mustaches.

Orange Devil Curry

This demonic curry will send you to hell and back! Well, not exactly. It didn't come out as spicy as I expected, but it was still absolutely delicious!
For those of you who don't know, I'm a hopeless curry addict. That's not going to change any time soon, so I decided to make a curry dish with an "orange" theme, meaning using as much orange-colored food as possible! The stars of the show are yams, butternut squash, and kumquats (you know, those sour little orange citrus things)! You can get kumquats at the health food store, or if you're me, off a bush in grandpa's garden when you were little.
This is unlike any curry I've ever made. It's like a summer vacation spot where sweet, spicy, and tart all hang out on the beach and become best friends! DIETERS BEWARE: you'll be back for seconds before you can say "How many Weight Watchers points is this?"

1 can Coconut milk
1 tsp. Chinese Five Spice powder
1 tsp. Curry powder
1 tsp. Garlic powder
1 dried California chili pepper, stem removed.
1 small Garnet yam, peeled
1 cup cubed Butternut Squash
1/2 cup whole Kumquats
3 green onions
1/4 Cup Macadamia nuts
Any kind of long pasta or noodle (I used spaghetti)


Heat the Coconut milk and spices in a frying pan. Tear the chili into pieces, add to the mixture and stir.
Cut the yam into quarter-inch cubes and add to the pan.
Cut the Kumquats into circles, squeeze over the pan to release the juice, and add to the mixture.
Cover the pan, turn down the heat and simmer for 10 minutes.
Add the squash, stir and cover again, stirring occasionally, for about 40 minutes.
Meanwhile, cook the pasta, crush the Macadamia nuts, and slice the green onions.



Serve the curry on top of the pasta, sprinkled with green onions and macadamia nuts

Spanish Tortilla

Repeat after me: eggs and potatoes! eggs and potatoes! eggs and potatoes are all I need, ever!
Well, almost. You will also need olive oil and onions. If you don't know what a Spanish Tortilla is, I'll tell you it has nothing to do with mexican food, nothing to do with bread (except for being really good on sandwiches), and you most definitely can't wrap a burrito in it.
I guess the best way to describe a tortilla is to call it a flat-ish, mixed potato and onion omelet. Be prepared to use lots of eggs!

YOU WILL NEED:
1 medium-sized non-stick frying pan
2 large dinner plates
1 large mixing bowl
5 large eggs
3 russet potatoes, rinsed and diced small
1 onion, diced
4 Tbsp. Olive oil

Heat the olive oil and fry the potato cubes, adding the onion for the last five minutes of cooking.
Meanwhile, scramble the eggs in the mixing bowl. When the potatoes and onions are done, add to the mixing bowl and stir, then let it sit for about ten minutes.
Heat one more tbsp. oil in the pan, then pour in the egg mixture.
After about two minutes, turn the heat down to low and cover for ten minutes, occasionally un-sticking the bottom with a spatula (do NOT try to flip it yet).
When you are able to free the entire bottom and the top looks almost set, place the dinner plate on top of the tortilla and flip the pan upside down.
Lift the pan off, then sandwich the tortilla between the two dinner plates and flip again. Lift off the top plate to expose the uncooked side, then flip back into the pan.
cook for another five minutes, then flip onto a plate, then cut into pie-shaped pieces and serve.
SERVING SUGGESTIONS:
good on top of small pieces of crusty bread with or without ketchup, or on sandwiches (tortilla and bacon on a sandwich is heavenly). But this is not to say that tortilla is no good by itself!
Other good things to add to your tortilla mixture (to be cooked inside): bell peppers, ham, sausage, or cheese!

Salmorejo Cordobés

Salmorejo is a cold, tomato-based dip/soup from the Córdoba region of Spain where I lived for 4 months last year. It's easy to make and tastes really healthy and refreshing. I guess it's more of a "summery" food, but I hope that you all, like me, think the idea of seasonal food is outrageously stupid. Does anyone know what I mean? Sometimes it's scorching outside, and all I want is a fat bowl of chili or a chicken pot pie. Or sometimes it's freezing and stormy, like now, and all I want is a milkshake. Seasonal fruit is different, though. Well, before I get started rambling again, I'll promise you that Salmorejo is delicious year round. I made it last week for a potluck and it got rave reviews!

You will need:
3-5 large, ripe Beefsteak tomatoes
1/8 C olive oil (maybe a little more if you're using 5 tomatoes)
1 1/2 Tbsp. White Wine vinegar
2 cloves garlic
1 egg (optional)
Salt & Pepper to taste
1-2 slices toasted sandwich bread
Baguette Bread

Cut 2 of the tomatoes into quarters, then move into a blender with the olive oil, vinegar, and garlic. Blend, gradually adding the rest of the tomatoes, until smooth. Tear a piece of toast into smaller pieces and blend with the tomato mixture until smooth. If it still looks like a melted fruit smoothie, blend in more pieces of toast until it starts looking "creamy". In the meantime, hard-boil the egg if you're using one (10 minutes on a full boil), and toast the baguette in the oven at about 300 for about 5 minutes.
Pour the salmorejo into a bowl and sprinkle with the sliced hard-boiled egg. Diced, pan-fried ham is also good to sprinkle on top if you're a fan of ham. This is best eaten out of a small bowl, using your bread more than your spoon. This recipe makes a lot, but trust me It'll be gone before you can say "Ciencias Locas" (Mad Sciences, if I'm not mistaken).

Two Bean Falafel

This recipe is modified from the one I usually use, which is from a vegan cookbook ("vegan with a vengeance" by Isa Chandra Moskowitz). The differences here are that I used pinto beans along with the usual garbanzos/chickpeas, left out the onions (just because I didn't have any) and baked the falafels instead of fry them like the book says. They're delicious fried as well, but I find it's hard to keep them from falling apart, plus they're healthier and there's not as much of a mess to clean up.
It looks like a long list of ingredients, but these are actually pretty easy to make. I mixed all the dry ingredients together in a bag the night before, and then all i had to do was pour it in!

FOR 12 FALAFEL PATTIES
1 3/4 C cooked chickpeas, drained and rinsed if canned.
1/3 C canned pinto beans (reserve 1/8 C of the juice)
1/4 C bread crumbs
2 Tbsp. all purpose flour
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. ground coriander
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
1/3 C flat-leaf parsley
1/2 tsp. salt
a few dashes of black pepper
pita bread (the pocket kind)

Chop the beans into a paste in a blender or food processor. transfer to a bowl and add the dry ingredients. mix lightly with a spoon. cut the stems off the parsley and chop it up really small. add to the batter and stir. wet your hands and knead the batter until mixed well. If my psychic powers are correct, the batter will be a bit dry, so add the 1/8 cup of bean juice for some extra moisture. (don't say "eewww" that's not polite!) spray or rub a baking sheet with olive oil. roll batter into golf-sized balls, then flatten with your hands until you have patties about 2 inches in diameter. place on baking sheet and spray with more olive oil.
bake 15 minutes, then turn the patties over and bake for another five minutes. cut the pitas in half and serve with your favorite falafel toppings (cucumber, lettuce, tomato, etc.).

Spicy Persimmon Chutney

While riding my bike, I found a box full of free persimmons in front of someone's house and proceeded to go persimmon crazy for the next 3 weeks or so (yeah, there were that many). Having never really cooked with them before, I saw this as a true mad science opportunity. I thought I would try making a pie or pudding, but my friend suggested I try making chutney and the rest is history. The thing to remember is the four C's: Cardamom, Coriander, Cloves, and Chili Powder. This chutney is good with almost anything! Try it on samosas/Indian food, or with cheese and crackers. I actually really like to put it on pancakes.

-7-10 VERY RIPE fuyu persimmons
-1 3/4 C sugar
-1/2 C water
-2 Tbsp. Chili Powder
-1 1/2 Tbsp. ground Coriander seed
-1 Tbsp. ground Cardamom
-1 tsp. ground cloves

Pull the stems off the persimmons and peel off part of the skin from the opening under the stem. Scrape out all the pulp into a large saucepan and discard the skins. Mix the persimmon pulp, sugar, and water over medium heat. Add the spices and bring to a low boil. Simmer, stirring occasionally until the mixture thickens to a "jammy" consistency (about 15-20 minutes). If you think it's too thick, add more water. Remove from heat and spoon into a large jam jar. It should keep for about a month in the fridge, but I really can't be sure since it never lasts that long =]

PICTURE COMING SOON! JUST HAVE TO GET THE FILM DEVELOPED.

FYI: If you've never eaten or cooked with persimmons before, just know they have to be EXTREMELY ripe, or they'll be grainy, bitter, and all around vile. Try squeezing one gently. If it feels the teensiest bit firm, it's not ready yet. Wait until it's squishy all the way around.